"Friends, are you troubled by many a sleepless afternoon?  Are you tired of catnaps all-too-often interrupted by fears for the safety of your whiskers?  Those terrible fears of grabby little paws, cat burglars, or the most awful noisy vacuum beast?  Worry no longer, good kitties, for I, E.A. Paw Felinus, DVM, have found the solution!  You may forget the old ways of whisker preservation!  Blow off burying them in the bedding; halt hiding them in the hall; stop squirreling them away on the stair step; even cease stashing them under the scratching post!  There is a better way, and it comes with my guarantee!  Save your whiskers in my patented "Whiskers for a Rainy Day" whisker jar!  These sleek and, should you be in need of a crashing implement, aero-dynamic  jars are made from the highest grade weather-resistant translucent Milkius Bottilus (or 'glass' in laycat's terms) and are proven to guard your whiskers from the elements and would-be thieves.  (Guarantee does not apply to theft by those with opposable thumbs.)  But the value does not stop there, my bosom chums, for in my many travels around the globe I have discovered a most rare item:  the Sacred Egyptian Gilded Whiskers of Eternal Sunny Napping Spots which are rumored to have been shed by the goddess Bastet herself during her temple visitations in ancient times.  At no small expense to myself have I gone to ensue that each jar contains just one of these priceless artifacts."